#15 Fucking Spectactular

Circa 2014 (September Birthday Present)
48 Years Old

I have a mantra that I have used for many years now.  “I am Fucking Spectacular”.  Growing up during grade school, I was a very, very girly kid.  I was picked on CONSTANTLY for it as well.  It also didn’t help matters that I only hung out with girls and I was the best skipper in our grade school.   My mother let us have long hair a lot so pre puberty, I was mistaken for a girl often.   Butch girls are called ‘Tom Boys’.  I was the boy version of that….but the opposite.  A ‘Tom Girl’?

I would walk home from school being tripped and pushed and shoved the whole way by the other kids.  I was called ‘faggot’, ‘queer’, ‘sissy’….you name I was called it.  Even my first year in high school I hadn’t had my growth spurt yet so was only just over 5 foot and really pudgy.  I had a perm and put Sun-in in my hair so it was Brassy Orange.  I have been searching for pics of this for years and trust me, if they existed, I have no issues posting them.  You will just have to take my word for it.

“What are you doing here?  Girls don’t take Auto Mechanics”

As I have mentioned before, my Dad raced cars and was an Auto Mechanic.  He designed and built his own Cars.  So I thought it only natural that perhaps I would be good at it too so my first year of high school,  I sign up for Auto Mechanics 101.  My VERY first day I go to class and some guy looks at me and says “What are you doing here?  Girls don’t take Auto Mechanics”.  I never went back to that class.  It was a typical after school special life that I was leading.  I didn’t have any friends at the new school and I just came and went as secretly and stealthily as I could.

Then puberty hit and I had my growth spurt.  My perm grew out as well as the Sun in Brassy, Orange and I now looked like a ‘guy’.  I met a new group of friends, most of which I still speak with today…mainly on Facebook but still.  Some of them are reading this right now actually and probably don’t know this story or how my life was before them.  It was fucking hell I tell you.  Skipping most of the details, it was through that group of friends that I was able to come out of my shell of Armour and become who I am today.

“People are not as free with the ‘Faggot’ calling when they see me with all the tattoos”

Obviously there was a very large time span from then to now and it would take way too long to tell you all the good and bad that happened along the way ….but in a nutshell, I eventually grew to really like who I was and work really hard at not being afraid of what people think of me.   I made sure I told myself often that “I am Fucking Spectacular”.  I also made it a point to try and instill this way of thinking into my daughter as she grew up and I know that it actually did work.  She is an amazing, funny, smart, confident girl who KNOWS that she is “Fucking Spectacular”.  So now that you know all that, perhaps now you understand a little more about me and why I look the way I do.  Especially all the tattoos.

I know that deep down inside, even though it’s mostly because I love the look of it, I also know that it’s a new type of Armour that shields me against the bullies.  People are not as free with the ‘Faggot’ calling when they see me with all the tattoos and nobody wants to fuck with a guy covered in tattoos.  If anything, they want to talk to me (which is all whole other annoyance LOL). It intimidates them and throws them off the scent.  They are also building blocks of confidence for me.  Each one adds a whole new layer and re-enforces what I do actually know deep down inside “somewhere”…That I am ‘Fucking Spectacular’.  Just nothing wrong with a little reminder once in a while.

You can check out Eds on Instagram and he appears for at least 3 more weeks on ‘Terry’s Tattoos Tuesdays’

Wanna Know More?

teb Interiors

201W-639 Queen Street West

Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2B7

quote@tebinteriors.com

647-242-4032

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